[Verse 1] Air-con set to sub-Arctic
If it moves, it isn't quick

[Pre-Chorus] Major delays, cancellations
Tedious conversations
Trying to eat your dinner with an ass in your face
It's a disgrace

[Chorus] It's a journey into pure despair
There are fucking assholes everywhere
I can smell piss and shit in the air
Fuck you, southern trains, we're not getting anywhere

[Verse 2] Journey into pure despair
I just want to get somewhere

[Pre-Chorus] Throw away the itinerary
The whole rat race in one place, stationary
On your marks, get set, stop there
Southern trains are top

[Chorus] It's a journey into pure despair
There are fucking assholes everywhere
I can smell piss and shit in the air
Fuck you, southern trains, we're not getting anywhere

[Bridge] Them southern trains
Choo-choo
Boo-hoo
Them southern trains
Choo-choo
Boo-hoo

[Solo] [Pre-Chorus] Heaving carriages of indignation
Grown men weeping of pure frustration
Totally packed and always late
Into the tunnel of hate

[Chorus] It's a journey into pure despair (Got me on the rails)
There are fucking assholes everywhere (This steam-age nightmare)
I can smell piss and shit in the air (Slower than snails)
Fuck you, southern trains, we're not getting anywhere