No one's ever gonna have to see me like this
No one's ever gonna have to see my sweatpants
I guess I'm lookin' for a way to tell you
"Fuck you, I'm stayin' in!!!!"

You've been tellin' me that I'm so boring
I've been gettin' drunk at 5 in the morning
You've been yellin' at me with no warning
But I'm already lost in the drink Jay's pouring

(some nice lil oooooos)
I'm a bum
I'm a fuckin' bum

Connor's got his college friends
Brian's got his can of Redd's
And I got Netflix
Dom's got good looks and he's skinny
God's not real and I'm not happy
And I've got man tits

I'm a bum
I'm a fuckin' bum