My name is Lucy Spraggan and I have 2138 friends on Facebook
I only speak to around 5 of them when I'm not on Facebook
My friends comment and say that I look thin, on Facebook
That's because I don't even have a double chin, on Facebook

I feel popular for having 10 notifications, on Facebook
I feel deflated when my best friend cancels our engagement, on Facebook
To declare the fact that he has entered a relationship, on Facebook
Because I know if it's in my News Feed, then it's serious

If I poke you and you poke me,
Can I automatically assume that we are in a relationship?
And it's a complicated type of thing you see on your Facebook status

I hate requests for online games and made up middle names
Notifications, 3 out of 4 that are Farmville or Mafia Wars
Tagged in a photo, you know it's bad
When you're tagged in your ex's stalker top 10, on Facebook

If you poke me, and I poke you
Type my name right into YouTube
Put it as your status, go on a playlist
I'm Lucy Spraggan, this song's called Facebook