"911, what's the nature of your emergency?"

Help me, 911 operator, got a Friday night emergency
I need nursin' 'cause I'm hurtin' from a long week workin'
And I'm thirstin' for a remedy

I need a red-head, brunette, or blonde
Angel have mercy that will put me through intensive care
There's gotta be a honky-tonk somewhere

Hang on, don't hang up on me, lady
Gotta take me to the promised land
'Cause I'm dying to see something like a jukejoint jumpin'
To a thumpin' little five piece band

I need a red dirt 'n swingin'
Just anything that's country
Karaoke, I don't care
There's gotta be a honky-tonk somewhere

There's gotta be a honky-tonk somewhere
There's gotta be a honky-tonk
Girl, you gotta get me there

I've tried the phone at the road
Mapped Siri, "where's the party at?"
But that ain't got me anywhere
There's gotta be a honky-tonk somewhere

Last call, answer, operator
I'm afraid I'm runnin' out of time
I know I sound broken but I just keep hopin'
For an open glowin' neon sign

Maybe this is crazy but I'm thinkin', baby
Maybe later you could meet me there
There's gotta be a honky-tonk somewhere

There's gotta be a honky-tonk somewhere
There's gotta be a honky-tonk
Girl, you gotta get me there

I've tried the phone at the road
Mapped Siri, "where's the party at?"
But that ain't got me anywhere
There's gotta be a honky-tonk somewhere
Out there's gotta be a honky-tonk somewhere