I reside in Prince Of Wales Drive
In a mansion block named "Primrose"
With constant hot water it's got all it oughta
Behind Victorian windows

But nonetheless, I must confess
I'm looking for something grander –
If you could see it, you'd agree
It's better to be an Overstrander

If one rich hag should like my gags
And drunkenly drag me to bed in Overstrand-
"Stand still while I take your picture!"
I would give her the negatives
If she could deliver the keys of Overstrand
(And then I would evict her)

Oh! To be one of the bourgeoisie
Living in luxury south of the river

I'll flirt and philander
I'll take huge back-handers
I just want to be an Overstrander

If that won't work, I'll lift my shirt
For a certain dirty old man in Overstrand
And I'll see that he is happy!
When he's dead, his will-
Instead of bequeathing it to his in-breds as planned-
Will hand Overstrand to me!
And see that I am happy!

I'll ponce, I'll pander, I'll gerrymander –
I just want to be an Overstrander!

Beware, Miss Clark!
A walk in the park
In winter the darkness can fall so fast
You may lose your way, and slip into the river
No-one will guess that beneath this false chest
There's a gentleman dressed up as you-
I'll fool them all!
The men will call, and I'll make them quiver!

I'll lie, I'll slander, I'll write for The Evening Standard
I just want to be an Overstrander!

…please?