Mr. Jones has a little problem
If I had eyes I'd see that it was me
He's the size of a man with the potential of a boy
Not what god had meant a child of it's to be
I'm afraid that he'll amount to all of nothing
The joy of reading Yeats he'll never know
And in the rat race twirl
Of our computer guided world
He stands no chance of winning
Let alone to place or show so
Lock him up and throw away the key boys
Mr. Jones is not like you or me
Luck him up tight
Cause if he had the chance he might
Show us that we're wrong
And that's the one thing we can't be
Oh no
Mr. Jones wanted to be married
It seemed like such a cute thing at the time
Two peas in a pod, two of a kind
Who never have to ask each other
"what's on your mind?"
It seemed a simple way to make them happy
And happy is such a simple way to be
And if the kept to themselves
Like two books upon a shelf
The kind you judge by the cover
And never take the time to read
Lock him up and throw away the key boys
Mr. Jones is not like you or me
Luck him up tight
Cause if he had the chance he might
Show us that we're wrong
And that's the one thing we can't be
Oh no
Mr. Jones and mrs. Jones we're elated to inform you
Though you've failed to meet the standards
We've a place where we'll reform you
It's a ways outside of town
But the distance has it's uses
Close enough to make the effort
Far enough to make excuses
Lock him up and throw away the key boys
Mr. Jones is not like you or me
Luck him up tight
Cause if he had the chance he might
Show us that we're wrong
And that's the one thing we can't be
Oh no
Mrs. Jones wants to have a baby
She says that as a woman it's her right
Yes we tried to tell her I guess that she forgot
When she and mr. Jones were wed
The doctors tied the knot
Why can't she just be happy in her own world
Then we could all be happy here in ours
We could still help out
Even go as far as to stop off
At teh safeway, and drop some pennies in the jar
Lock her up and throw away the key boys
Mrs. Jones is not like you or me
Luck him up tight
Cause if she had the chance she might
Show us that we're wrong
And that's the one thing we can't be
Lock them up and throw away the key boys
The joneses are not like you or me
Luck them up tight
Cause if they had the chance they might
Show us that we're wrong
And that's the one thing we can't be
Oh no