Here comes the star of the show
But he's got piss on his clothes
Still he's the man with all the front
Ladies and gentlemen
Let's have your warmest welcome
For the world's biggest little cunt

There's no curtain call, no screaming applause

Little comedian, flat on my face again
And no one's laughing, little comedian

Knock knock, I wonder who's that?
Knocking everyone's drinks back
And treading shit into the rug
It's the boy with the poison inside
He's got such weak little spine
Still he's his mother's favourite thug

There's no curtain call, no screaming applause

Little comedian, flat on my face again
And no one's laughing, little comedian

Little comedian, flat on my face again
And no one's laughing, little comedian

8AM, last nights dawning
I feel the bathroom calling
With my 3 minute sickness warning
Head hung over the basin
Memories of last night racing
To the mirror with sick face in

There's no curtain call, no screaming applause

Little comedian, flat on my face again
And no one's laughing, little comedian

Little comedian, flat on my face again
And no one's laughing, little comedian