Here's a tale of a man who was puny and weak
Stood four foot six in his stocking feet
Kinda narrow in the shoulder and heavy in the waist
Everything about him seemed to be misplaced, small Sam

He slid into town one rainy night
Runnin' like a dog away from a fight
He had a pretty big mouth for a guy his size
And everything he said was a pack of lies, small Sam

One day he got on a downtown bus
First thing you know there was an awful fuss
They threw Sam off into the street
For trying to steal an old lady's seat, bad Sam

One day nobody knows what for
An elevator stuck on the eighty-fifth floor
Some cables broke and so it's said
That car just hung there by a thread
The women were calm and the men were balm
But Sam screamed and cried like a little child
He squeezed himself through the emergency door
And pulled himself up to the eighty-sixth floor,
Small Sam, chicken Sam

And then instead of helpin' others get free
Sam said, I'm lookin' out for me
The cable snapped and all the way down
They cursed out Sam when they hit the ground, small Sam

Now someday Sams gonna get his due
And when he does I'll make a bet with you
There ain't nobody even gonna pass a hat
'Cause Sam was nothin' but a no good cat
Yes, small Sam
Chicken Sam
No good Sam