Adam: We were doing Mok 1 in the Ookla-mobile
Luis: And Rand was at the wheel
Rand: With gear and clothes and Adam
Crammed against the windshield
A: We were gonna filk until the break of dawn
L: We're going to the con
Are: Luis Tomas Garcia had his Sandman T-shirt on
A: Rand was driving I was playing my guitar
L: And I was in the car
Are: And then we stopped
A: And that's when Rand said,
Are: "I don't know where we are"
A: I was trying to get the map unfolded
When I heard a sound
L: I looked around
Are: And then I noticed that the car
Was lifted off the ground
All: What was going on
How were we floating through the air?
All: Maybe it has to do with that flying saucer
Over there?
A: Hold on this might not be as bad as it seems
L: What do you mean?
Are: We'll miss the con!
L: What are you on?
Are: We're in a tractor beam!
Are: Luis looked down and marvelled
At the endless rows of corn
L: "That's a lot of corn!"
A: And Rand beaped out the rhythm
The theme of Close Encounters on the horn
Are: Adam was trying to teach his fingers what to do
L: "Na noo! Na noo!"
A: As we docked aboard what appeared to be
An interstellar zoo
Are: I turned the car off and we timidly disembarked
L: "We're double parked!"
A: Gaping bewilderedly around this cosmic Noah's Ark
Are: And that's when Adam walked away without a glance
L: I peed my pants
A: I couldn't help it
I was in some kind of weird hypnotic trance
A: I woke up in a room with candles lit and muzak on
A: I was lying on a bed with nothing
But my tube socks on
A: I saw a shapely silhouette in the door
L: She was a ten!
Are: An alien!
A: I was stiffer than Al Gore
A: We didn't have a common culture or a common tongue
A: We didn't have a thing in common
As I've already sung
A: We didn't have an ounce of mutual respect
All: But we had s**
All: We had s**
All: s**
All: We had s**
Are: And then a hooded stranger took me by the hand
L: "Don't leave me Rand!"
A: But Rand just followed
Knowing that Luis would understand
Are: She asked me if I wanted latte or Darjeeling tea
L: "I'm thirsty!"
A: They quickly saw they had compatible personalities
Are: We had the same opinions
We shared the same philosophy
Are: We had the same Snoopy lunchbox
We watched the same shows on tv
Are: We both liked movies with cheap special effects
A&L: But we did not have s**
Are: ("She said she just wanted to stay friends")
A&L: We did not have s**
Are: ("She said she'd write me but she never did")
A&L: No s**
Are: ("She gave me her phone number
But when I called it it was a laundromat")
A&L: We did not have s**
A: With Rand and Adam gone Luis was all alone
L: "E.T. phone home!"
Are: He was in the dark
And all he could hear was Adam moan
A: Things were looking grim
For the drummer of Ookla the Mok
L: "Help me Spock!"
R" Next thing he knew Luis was on all fours
Stripped to his jock
L: I was more scared than I had ever been
In all my life
L: I didn't want to spend the next forty years
As E. T. 's wife
A: Well maybe this isn't quite as bad as it seems…
L: At least yours was a female!
A&are: And they had s**
L: ("Mine was a huge purple guy")
A&are: They had s**
L: ("And he had this huge, long… ANTENNAE")
A&are: s**
L: ("And these bulging, humongous… EARS")
A&are: They had s**
L: ("It was horrible… I'm never doing that again!")
A: It ended just as quickly as it had begun
L: You mean you're done
Are: It was more confusing than the ending of 2001
A: I had a good time
Are: And I gained a friend
L: It was a bad joke but I got it in the end