I knew a boy way back when
His name was Bobby and then
He asked my daddy if I could go dancing

But he could not make a pass
Can't tell his elbow from ass
He was completely inept at romancing

Oh Bobby
It's so painful to watch you
Well in a crowd I could spot you
Oh Bobby
You'll never nail her
What a spectacular failure

He's got a buddy named Jack
Who likes to take it as fact
That he and Bobby have all of the power

But don't believe what he says
Cuz Jack's gone soft in the head
And Bob and Jack play grab-ass in the shower

Oh Bobby
You play out every delusion
You're better off in seclusion
Oh Bobby
You've never looked paler
What a spectacular failure

Oh Bobby
You don't appear to be dying
It's like you're not even trying
Oh Bobby
I can't excuse your behavior
What a spectacular failure