"Honey, I'm home!"
How was work? I got dinner on the stove
"You call this dinner? This is why we all get thinner"
It's alphabet soup so you can eat your words

Whoa-oh, they're laughing at me again
I heard God's a standup comedian
He's got a special on HBO
And he does a lot of racial jokes
Five stars from the critics
But when I tell my jokes I get crickets, go figure
I'm just another hack with a sitcom laugh track playing in the back, back

Ooh ooh ooh, ooh ooh ooh
Ooh ooh ooh, ooh ooh, sit calm
Ooh ooh ooh, ooh ooh ooh
Ooh ooh ooh, ooh ooh

Have you ever seen a dysfunctional family
Sit so calmly while they bask in the light of a TV screen?
And have you ever dreamed that you laughed until you cried
And then you cried until you screamed?

Whoa-oh, they're laughing at me again
I heard God's a standup comedian
He's got a special on HBO
And he does a lot of racial jokes
Five stars from the critics
But when I tell my jokes I get crickets, go figure
I'm just another hack with a sitcom laugh track playing in the back, back

Ooh ooh ooh, ooh ooh ooh
Ooh ooh ooh, ooh ooh, sit calm
Ooh ooh ooh, ooh ooh ooh
Ooh ooh ooh, ooh ooh

Hey mama, turn the TV on
Put something in the VCR
We're channel surfin' to the stars
Here we go, here we go, here we go, aye
Hey mama, turn the TV on
Put something in the VCR
We're channel surfin' to the stars
Here we go, here we go

Ooh ooh ooh, ooh ooh ooh
Ooh ooh ooh, ooh ooh, sit calm
Ooh ooh ooh, ooh ooh ooh
Ooh ooh ooh, ooh ooh
Ooh ooh ooh, ooh ooh ooh
Ooh ooh ooh, ooh ooh, sit calm
Ooh ooh ooh, ooh ooh ooh
Ooh ooh ooh, ooh ooh