[Verse 1] What is the time? Oh god I'm late again
I'm gonna get bollocked if I can't think up something for when
I get to work, and I can't clock in
Scraping the bottom of the barrel, excuses wearing thin

No I'm not a master of evasion
But here's time in life where one must at least try
He's walking down to produce aisle
He fucking knows it, he's gonna lose it

[Chorus 1] It must feel like the end of the world
To you it probably is, sir
What can I do to make this up to you
These things are sent to test us

[Verse 2] If being on time was a competition I'd get lost en-route
(I'd get lost en-route)
Ironically this happened too, an elephant escaped from the zoo
Don't believe me? I tell you, it's true!

I made my lunch but forgot to pack any fruit
(Fruit, fruit, fruit)
And if my mum found out she'd probably hit the roof
(Roof, roof, roof)

I got abducted and probed
And only just got home
These kinds of things could happen to anyone
I just hope you know

[Chorus 2] It was almost the end of my world
When they took me out of my home
I was getting dressed to go to work
When they came and got me

[Chorus 3] It takes more character
To even show up at all
Sally would have just-a-called in sick
She didn't get abducted

[Breakdown] Look into my eyes, don't tell me that I lied
It's just a coincidence that my goldfish died
I was gonna come in, god knows I tried
I just lost track of time

[Chorus 1] It must feel like the end of the world
To you it probably is, sir
What can I do to make this up to you
These things are sent to test us

[Chorus 3] It takes more character
To even show up at all
Sally would have just-a-called in sick
She didn't

[Chorus 2] It was almost the end of my world
When they took me out of my home
I was getting dressed to go to work
When they came and got me

[Outro] I promise this will never happen
Ever again
I will never call in sick
I'll try not to get abducted

What is the time? Oh god I'm late again
Google "Acceptable Excuses"