If you sit in a pot of dirt with nothin' to say –
You're a cactus
If you spend all day starin' at the sun – you're a
Cactus
If you don't wanna get close so you wear a coat of pins
– you're a cactus
If you keep your world barren like a desert – you're a
Cactus
If you have no face and need more space – you're a
Cactus
If you like to hide in the sand – you're a cactus
If you can't seem to get anything done – you're a
Cactus
If the company of tumbleweed is unexpected fun – you're
A cactus!

If you fit in perfectly in an empty room – you're a
Cactus
If you hurt anyone who bumps into you – you're a cactus
If your social circle is you – you're a cactus

If you're referred to as "what" instead of "who" –
You're a cactus
If your skin is green and you have no spleen – you're a
Cactus
If simple creatures think of you as mean – you're a
Cactus
If life-sucking weeds won't even go near ya – you're a
Cactus
And if balloons fear ya – you're a cactus!

If the world finds you abrasive – you're a cactus
If you're unique with a plain physique – you're a
Cactus
If you're full of wine and have no spine – you're a
Cactus
If you resemble a sleeping porcupine – you're a cactus
If no one wants to sit on your lap – you're a cactus
If you are full of, or considered a sap – you're a
Cactus…