[Verse 1] Up in the cemetery every evening
Been slaying some vampires in Cleveland
Shout if you feel how I’m feeling
Just a vampire slayer in Cleveland
(vampire slayer in Cleveland)

[Verse 2] I don’t have much to believe in
No friends and no family in Cleveland
Just a whole lotta death I been dealing
To the vampires living in Cleveland
(vampire slayer in Cleveland)

[Chorus] Oh, when I go out on patrol
Oh, I’m the loneliest girl in Ohio

[Verse 3] The rust belt hellmouth is seething
In the slumbering dark heart of Cleveland
All manner of evil come creepin
To the vampire slayer in Cleveland
(vampire slayer in Cleveland)

[Chorus] Oh, my whole life’s one long patrol
Oh, and every single night I have to go

[Bridge] Check The Grog Shop, and Great Lakes Brewing, and Tommy’s on Coventry
The Rock N Roll Hall of Fame and the shores of Lake Erie
And don’t forget the labyrinth of Cleveland’s back alleys

[Verse 4] I never dream about leaving
Cause my calling has bound me to Cleveland
For the rest of the days that I’m breathing
I’ll be a vampire slayer in Cleveland
(vampire slayer in Cleveland x 4)