[Verse 1] This week is the talent show and if there’s one thing that I know
It’s that I don’t wanna do it but somehow I got roped into it
Everybody else is good at stuff – Cordelia sings (at least sort of)
But my talent’s best kept hidden
Not like, for example, Morgan’s ventriloquism

[Chorus] Why did it have to be
A live ventriloquist’s dummy
I wish that it was anything but that
Cause me and dummies have an uncomfortable past
And I don’t need to bore ya
With the details of my phobia
I just wish that it was anything but that

[Verse 2] Somebody’s been harvesting – first a heart, then a brain
Guess a demon needs some organs to keep livin like a human
Sid’s not evil so it seems but Principal Snyder might be
Yeah the jury’s out on that one
Anyway Mark the magician went into his magic box
And changed into a full-skin demon and attacked us but we beat him
And then stabbed him in the heart

[Chorus] Why did it have to be
A live ventriloquist’s dummy
I wish that it was anything but that
Cause me and dummies have an uncomfortable past
And I don’t need to bore ya
With the details of my phobia
I just wish that it was anything but that