You’d already been half an hour with pre-clubbing shower and I’d always planned to have a look in your special winnie the pooh book. The place was marked and it was there in blue and white – it
Said simply, “paul stayed last night.”

Next I was on the bog and you got down on one knee.
You were protesting your innocence and you started to cry as I started to pee.

You said, “i didn’t shag him, he slept on the couch in the kitchen.
He might as well be a girl, he’s a good for a laugh and he’s good for bitchin’. ”

You said you’d never be willing or able.
And he looks like he was made on a fucking table.
Although, to be fair, I think he hides the bolts quite well, but as soon as he opens his mouth you can just tell.
I had just assumed you’d completely gone off shagging and I can you seen you with your new uni pals, standing bragging. Now he’s your boyfriend and I know you were talking shite but you still de
It when I met you at someone’s birthday party the other night.

You said, “i didn’t shag him, he slept on the couch in the kitchen. we have a good laugh when we’re sitting bitchin’.”

The words that you used to think turned me on just made me laugh – “do you want to suck my cunt? ” in real life just sounds naff.
And when we were with your friends I just as well might of been no one.
And you can’t get over your dead dog – well it takes one to know one.