[Verse 1] Hey there January
Looks like we're alone again
Another year is over
Left the same way it came in
Said that I’d be thinner
Said that we'd be better friends
But I'm still on the treadmill
Change the channel

[Chorus] Played by the rules
Look where it got me
Sober is cool
But fuck, it’s boring

[Post-Chorus] Oh the way you held me up
I never felt quite good enough
I made it through the year again
With Diet Coke and cigarettes

[Verse 2] Hey there salutations
Wasn't really in the end
My new year resolutions
Used to make a lot more sense
All these little problems
Like sex and television
Got me in a chokehold
Self deception

[Chorus] Played by the rules
Look where it got me
Sober is cool
But fuck, it's boring

[Post-Chorus] Oh the way you held me up
I never felt quite cool enough
And truer words were never said
That closeness tends to breed contempt

[Bridge] Nowhere, going nowhere
Going nowhere, going nowhere

[Chorus] Played by the rules
Pass me the doob

[Outro] Going nowhere, going nowhere
Going nowhere, going nowhere
Going nowhere, going nowhere
Going nowhere, going nowhere