[Verse: 1] Candy May, I think I'm dying
Yeah, 'cause I'm frail and I'm tired
And I constantly complain about the pain I'm in
But Candy May, she knows me better, yes, she knows my ways
She has seen me naked, she knows I'm packing heat
She has a way of saying "baby, come to me" complete

[Chorus] She's my sweet sweet Candy May
Got me stuck and I want to stay
But I never wanted to look sharp
Down the barrel of a broken heart
So I live with a deep regret
Of all I do on the internet
And I'm filled with a dirty white guilt
She's a brown on her doily frills

[Bridge] She loves me still

[Verse: 2] Sweetest eyes, so dark and shining
They see a shadow in their vision
Then it fades and then it dies, sweetest eyes
But Candy May, don't think I'm lying
I got a flavor in my mouth, it never truly goes away
That's Candy May

So when you see me and Candy May
And we're walking down the street at a mean pace
And she is crying out "You f'n lonely man"
"You worthless piece of shit"
You all wouldn't understand

'Cause Candy May, I know she loves me in her own true way
You call it as you see it, you think you know the score
But you just never had a girl like Candy May before

[Chorus] She's my sweet sweet Candy May
Got me stuck and I want to stay
But I never wanted to look sharp
Down the barrel of a broken heart
So I live with a deep regret
Of all I do on the internet
And I'm filled with a dirty white guilt
She's a brown on her doily frills

She's my sweet sweet Candy May
Got me stuck and I want to stay
But I never wanted to look shocked
Down the barrel of a broken heart
So I live with a deep regret
Of all I do on the internet
And I'm filled with a dirty white guilt
She's a brown on her doll with frills

She's my sweet sweet Candy May
Got me stuck and I want to stay
But I never wanted to look sharp
Down the barrel of a broken heart
So I live with a deep regret
Of all I do on the internet
And I'm filled with a dirty white guilt
She's a brown on her doily frills

She loves me still