[Chorus]

Hello everybody
My name's Evan D. Kraven
I am todays newest patient
I'm glad I'm participating

I guess I'll start this off by saying
I'm a labeled assailant
They found a couple unknown bodies
Rotting under my basement

But I'm not here to make new friends
I'm not the one you wanna blabble to
A paranoid-schizophrenic-fuck-you-bitch attitude
I'll slice you up with gratitude
Decapitate you like a Haitian
Face it
I'm the modern Jason
All you rappers I'm replacing
That's all

[Verse 1]

Hello Ms. Winney Whitney
Would you like to play a game with me
Go out and throw around a frisby
I hope it isn't to windy

Maybe I'll bring along Cindy
We can all play in the shed
Show you what's under my bed
As long as you keep it unsaid

Cuz if you tell somebody
That I'm out collecting heads
They gonna tell the feds
Then momma's gonna make me take my meds

I fuckin hate my meds
They make me drowsy plus a bit depressed
And when I get depressed
I lay with Beth while I caress her breast

But Beth's been dead for about a week now
Her body's my antique now
My new spatulas her feet
I use her torso as a sheet now

I wasn't always crazy
Till I met this bitch named Carolin
A lot of you might actually know her
Her real name is heroine

[Chorus]

Hello everybody
My name's Evan D. Kraven
I am todays newest patient
I'm glad I'm participating

I guess I'll start this off by saying
I'm a labeled assailant
They found a couple unknown bodies
Rotting under my basement

But I'm not here to make new friends
I'm not the one you wanna blabble to
A paranoid-schizophrenic-fuck-you-bitch attitude
I'll slice you up with gratitude
Decapitate you like a Haitian
Face it
I'm the modern Jason
All you rappers I'm replacing
That's all

[Verse 2]

All my teachers never liked me
So I shot up my professor
Told him watch his fucking mouth
That was the lesson of my lecture
But to each his own I brought him home
To keep him as my treasure
Kept his body in the closet
But his fingers in my dresser

Cooking on the stove
I'll turn your organs into plaster
Stir a little faster
To the children I'm a bastard
I turn them into Casper
Watch me demonstrate disaster
Underground psychopath
These rappers call me master

All I wanna feed them is some Beatles
Do you want some more?
Tell you to face the floor on all fours
While I fuck your whore
I can feel the rezadue
Come sweatin out my pours
Watch me play with organs
Bet I never miss a chord

[Chorus]

Hello everybody
My name's Evan D. Kraven
I am todays newest patient
I'm glad I'm participating

I guess I'll start this off by saying
I'm a labeled assailant
They found a couple unknown bodies
Rotting under my basement

But I'm not here to make new friends
I'm not the one you wanna blabble to
A paranoid-schizophrenic-fuck-you-bitch attitude
I'll slice you up with gratitude
Decapitate you like a Haitian
Face it
I'm the modern Jason
All you rappers I'm replacing
That's all