Elf: woooo somebody done been to the Walmart

Jeff: Man this is just the stuff I got for Christmas

Elf: Well you cleaned up watcha get?

Jeff: 5 flannel shirts, 4 big mud tires, 3 shot gun shells, 2 huntin' dogs
and some parts to a mustang GT

Elf: Youbo you got Jeff first 12 days of Christmas

Jeff: I know that I got it covered look over there in the corner

Elf: that's yours too?

Jeff: yeah 12 pack of bud, 11 wrastlin tickets, 10 of copenhagen
9 years probation, 8 table dancers, 7 packs of red man, 6 spam (woo)
5 flannel shirts, 4 big mud tires, 3 shot gun shells, 2 huntin' dogs
And some parts to a mustang GT

Elf: Man these ain't normal Christmas Presents

Jeff: Nah there redneck gifts

Elf: Redneck gifts?

Jeff: Yeah you know like if you buy your wife
Earring that double as fishing hooks or if you can burp the entire chorus of Jingle Bells
Perhaps you think the Nutcracker is something you did off the high dive
Or if you've ever misspelled something in Christmas lights, or if you leave cold beer
And pickled eggs for Santa Claus

Elf: What's wrong with that?

Jeff: I didn't say anythings wrong with its hard to beat 12 pack of bud
11 wrastlin' tickets,10 of copenhagen, 9 years probation, 8 table dancers
7 packs of red man, 6 cans of spam, 5 flannel shirts, 4 big mud tires
3 shot gun shells, 2 huntin' dogs, and some parts to a Mustang Gt

Elf: Well you know you can't really consider it a Chrismas
Unless you go down to the penatentry and visit ya momma

Jeff: You're not listenin to me get the car key outta your ear
That's where the nine years probation comes in I'mma do it for you again, now listen
12 pack of bud, 11 wrastlin tickets, 10 of copenhagen, 9 years probation,8 table dancers
7 packs of red man, 6 cans of spam, 5 flannel shirts, 4 big mud tires, 3 shot guns shells
2 huntin' dogs, and some parts to a mustang GT

Jeff: Are you crying?

Elf: No its just my allergies

Jeff: Happy Holidays everybody!