You may be wondering why
I asked you here today
Well, it all started last
Saturday night at the movies

My girl and I were watching
The Creature from the
Black Slacks Lagoon

(Black slacks, black slacks)

Oh, look, over there
What is that weird
Gruesome looking creature
It’s huge, it looks like a
A giant grasshopper
With a big beak on it

It must have come
From the ocean floor
Looks like my English teacher

(His name is Mr. Big)

It’s headed for my girl
What’s gonna happen

(Goodness gracious
Holy mackerel, oooh
What I gonna do now there)

It’s looking at them
Oh, look, it’s talking to them
They’re laughing, laughing
Laughing, laughing

General H. Middle Mermore here
Call out the Army
Navy, Air Force
Get me Washington

Something’s loose here
Some creature
We’ve got to find it
And stop it

(Gonna find her
Gonna find her)

What’s that, sergeant
You’ve found the creature
On Main Street
You know what to do

(Gonna walk right down that
Street like Bulldog Drummond)

Cannons have no effect on him
The A-bomb is useless
Everybody stop laughing
We’ve got to use our secret weapon
You mean the, yes, the guns

(Dip dip dip dip…)

This is clearly a case for science
Get me Professor Roger Cool

This is Cool, man
What’s your problem
There’s a creature loose
Down here, Cool
This is a shaky situation

(Whole lotta shaking going on)

I think you and your staff
Should investigate at once
Okay, man, we’ll pop over
As soon as we find the helicopter

Well, here we are, man
Meet and greet my
Crazy girl assistant scientist

(Reet Petite the finest
Girl you ever wanna meet)

Well, hello there, big boy
Deep, cool, you’re just in time
The creature has oozed
Into a cave

Oozed, man, like what is it
You’ll never believe this, Cool, goo
Goo, goo, goo, goo
Cool, you are going in that cave

(That’ll be the day, ooh hoo
That’ll be the day)

I’ll go, no, girl
Don’t gimme any of that jazz
Like we have to make the
Scene in the next picture

You can’t stop me, Roger
I’m going

(Bye bye, love
Bye bye, happiness
Hello, loneliness…)