I was at the bar with my drinkin' team
And it was me, Jack Daniels and my homie Jim Beam
We were kinda blitzed and we were tryin' to behave, yo
When in walked a soldier, he was from the Fuzzy Navel

We were fallin', stumblin', crawlin'
In came the police, Captain Tom Collins
And the vato said, "Freeze"
(Freeze)
He said, "Hands in the air and hand over your keys"

Now we did and that was kinda simple
Now here came Margarita and her friend Shirley Temple
I asked my friend 'bout Margarita
He said that Shirley was a virgin and I wouldn't wanna meet her

So I talked to Margarita 'cause, yo, she was flier
I took her to the couch 'cause I wanted to screw-drive her
Now I'm not one for a speech
But there was plenty of tequila and s** on the beach

Y'all, tequila
T-t-t-tequila, yeah
Alright, come on
Tequila

Here we go again and I'm not fussin'
See, I'm a French Mexican but I kick it with white Russians
At the bar with the drink in my hand
In walked José Cuevo, it was Margarita's man

I talked to the wise man 'cause, yo, he's distinguished
His name is St. Ides and he spoke in olde English
He said, "You better think fast
'Cause José is kinda crazy and I heard he shot blast"

He gave me some advice and it went like this, yo
Catch the night train and head up to Cisco
I didn't wanna stick around
I caught the 1: 51 to New York, the Greyhound

Now I'm at the Red Zone, everybody stylin
Showbiz was sippin' ice teas on Long Island
I blacked out, the party came to a halt
Cause I was drinkin' the Tequila with the lemon and salt

Y'all, tequila
T-t-t-tequila, yeah
Alright
Tequila

I woke up in the morning and felt like a zombie
The Tequila gold label had bombed me
You see, I woke up late, I wasn't feelin' so great
And Mike said, "There's a Bacardi party startin' at 8"

Yo, we walked in the party and started playin' our games
We played tops, [unverified] and quarters with Bartles & Jaymes
Here came Shirley Temple and they told me to chill
Because the Mickey brothers took her up to Strawberry Hill

They took her $1000 mink and she could barely think
'Cause the Tequila that she drank had her tickled pink
Now the music came on and I rocked the instrumental
There's a groupie named Mai Tai, a fly oriental

A groupie is a girl that jocks
She wore a def Black Velvet and drank Scotch on the rocks
We had a Fake Marriage, now here's the honeymoon
Yo, it's on, Vagabond at the Blue Lagoon

Now everybody take a couple of words from the wise
A girlie and a bottle, Tequila Sunrise

Tequila, yeah
Alright, come on
Tequila